Heil Hi..

Today I háve to write a blog in English, because Kim demands it. I was thinking about doing the first half in English and the other half in Dutch, but i realised that my blog would then be written in (Dutch+English=) dunglish. This word is not made up by me, by the way. Dunglish. Dung-lish. For people who don't know what dung is: this is dung. That is the reason I cannot write a blog in dunglish: it would imply a crappy blog (literally). And that is something nóbody wants. Imagine what it would smell like.

There are two things that gross me out. One of them is fishfilet.

Fishfilet is exactly NOT what they say it is. It's not filet. Filet is meat without bones, and fishfilet is neither meat (talk to the vegetarians for a confirmation) nor boneless. Pinbones are bones, ok?! By the way, I will write pinbones as óne word instead of 2 (pin bones), since I think it should be written that way. I'm not sure that's correct, but I don't really care. Anyway, I don't want to eat them. There is something about pinbones that makes the entire idea of eating a fish very unpleasant.
Of course, my peace of fish'filet' always contains an entire fish-graveyard. Half of the total dinnertime, I'm busy picking out all the stupid pinbones, leaving little pieces of white blubberish fish to eat. During that time, my mother is constantly saying 'I should just eat my food', followed by 'I don't have any bones in my piece of fish!'. Good for her.
In Dutch, the fish we ate at dinner today is called 'zeewolf', meaning seawolf. Yeah right. This is one of those bastards..















When you name a fish 'seawolf', it implies that there are sea-deer and sea-rabbits for the seawolf to catch. Seawolves need sea-lairs and they need a sea-wood. They need sea-snow in which they can leave footprints (I mean, finprints). It's ridiculous. Why don't we just call this kind of fish: 'Most-Ugly-Motherfucking-Fish-I've-Ever-Seen-fish'? It's a bit long, maybe, but at least it's true. No more confusion. No more lies about stupid fish. And when we're at it, lets just not eat fish at all, except maybe tuna and a little bit of salmon. Fish are not for eating, fish are for swimming.

Someone asked me the other day:
What would you want to be, Jeeps: a lion or a dolphin? Rule the lands or rule the sea?

Okey, you fucking asshole, here is my answer to your stupid fucking question (you know, when I'm writing in English, at léast give me the pleasure of swearing a lot, 'cause it's fun. It also makes up for the many flaws and faults in my English.).

Well, I don't wanna bitch, but dolphins don't rule the sea. Dolphins might be smart animals, but they're also the favorite sea-animal of every single girl under 11 on the planet. That just means they do NOT rule the sea. Rabbits and horses don't rule the land either, do they? No, they don't. Dolphins are for stupid American tourists in a boat, to touch them and to pet them and so on. "Oooh, i touched a dolphin! And they liked the boat so they swam along!". I wish that wasn't truea, and the dolphins are just waiting for you to fall out of the boat so they can kick your ass. But since that never happened, they truly are the most fluffy, cute and therefore stupid animals ever.

But being a lion isn't exactly great, too. I don't know why lions are supposed to rule the land - maybe it's because of The Lion King. Lions are the laziest animals you've ever seen. Remember seeing them in the zoo? There is no animal that moves so little. Even crocodiles can go nuts sometimes and move around. Lions don't. All they do is chilling out in the sun and whenever they open their mouth, it's not to roar. It's either to eat or to yawn. Actually, they're kinda like human beings. Look:














That's what i would look like if i'd be a lion.

So the whole question is fucked up to begin with. But if i have to choose, i'd be a lion. At least you can eat people who go too close to you. And being a lion wouldn't be so different from what i do right now: eat (more likely: wait untill somebody makes me dinner), sleep and scare the crap out of people every once in a while. That's it. I like to keep it simple (no I don't).

Oh yeh, that reminds me: today is the last day you can make my quiz (three days ago or so), and you can win a very special prize! I'm serious, it's an amazing thing to get, really. And you know what, to make it extra fun, i'll come and drop it by this week. That is, if you win. You better stay at home all week, 'cause I don't wanna wait outside if you're not there.

There ya go, Kim, an English blog. Happy now?